RoBB ToDD

I love Paul O'Neill, especially when he assaults innocent water coolers, but with Johnny Damon at bat, two outs, and Brett Gardner on third, he says: "That's why sports, to me, are so fun. They're so much better than, you know, reading a book or going to the movies because you don't know what's going to happen, you know, and you don't see that in every day life all the time."

Michael Kay: "Well, baseball is definitely unscripted, that's for sure."

Yeah, the problem with life is a bad script, not anger, selfishness, vindictiveness, alcohol, prescription drugs, non-prescription drugs, your shitty job, your not having a job, traffic, smelly people on the subway, politicians, apathetic voters, capitalism, communism, terrorism, inter-league play, the NCAA bowl system, steroids, the DMV, gas prices, immigration, immigration laws, Bernie Madoff, Rush Limbaugh, the Middle East, Iraq, banks, bailouts, the deficit, obesity, health care, and a cat that shits and pisses on everything except the litter box. C'mon! This is not "Two and a Half Men," okay? Please call Charlie Kauffman immediately. I don't like my season finale.

Then a commercial came on for the Sands casino in a city named after Jesus' hometown: "You know we know action … Emeril's chop house … BAM! … Nightlife … You know we know how to play and we're only an hour away … Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER."